Kahani Mein Twist

What do you make out of this conversation?

2007-10-16T20:28:00.000-07:00

Heres an incident narrated by someone which made a group of people laugh.

This guy was working in an old age home and he was talking about an 85 year old woman. She had an 88 year old husband and she was having an affair with an 84 year old man.

I know it sounds a mixture of cute and funny. And this is the fascinating similarity between old age and infancy. Things that seem totally inappropriate with adults are normal with superadults or toddlers. ITs like life gives you a second chance to just get away with things :)

The part that sucks is that you are not gauranteed to be taken care of as an 85 year old and so I dont know if i want to go there and take my second chance at being silly

Another reason why things are forgiven late in the stage of life is because with death nearing you, you tend to think more clearly about what is trivial and what is not. Importance of everything is relative. Compared to death a lot of other things are trivial. PErhaps you would behave in the same way with everyone if you knew the world was going to end in one year! You would see everything in perspective. Your job, the money you make, your relationships. I think people would live their life very differently if they knew their "expiry date" :)

Is the dumb ambitious person always paranoid?

2007-10-01T18:26:00.000-07:00

Bill Gates once famously said "Only the paranoid survive" or something to that effect. I think i get the context of that statement. But the last couple of months has been a time when i am correlating paranoia and dumb+ ambition like never before.

Someone thinks you are scheming against him or her. Theres nothing real that has happened. But there is a suspicion from him that everyone is out to stop his promotion, the world wants to screw him. Theres paranoia from her that you are paying too much attention or ignoring her on purpose and so you are scheming against her (like you have all the time in the world to scheme against her).

I think the fear of the unknown essentially comes from the inability to process the known. Combine that with a strong ambition and you have the perfect recipe for paranoia.

PAranoid guy want to reach a particular point (ambition). He does not know how to reach it (dumb). And has faced failures constantly (cos he is basically not capable of achieving much) . So the only place to put the blame is the world. The world is bad and its always scheming against you.

Such a person may also becomes judgmental. Taking a decision based on information is something that everyone does. However the amount of information you can process and therefore the time you need to get that information and make that decision depends on how smart/dumb you are and how much you care about the decision.

So dont be surprised if you hear such a person saying "oh i saw him doing xyz, so he is definitely abc" And that opinion cannot change because there is an inability to process any more information than what is already there with this person.

So next time you see a paranoid person , give the benefit of doubt. Maybe hes just dumb and ambitious.

What was that about...?

2007-09-25T01:20:00.000-07:00

When i came back home from work,i was wondering .. what exactly am i upto here? Was i actually scouting for a substitute to Jayesh since he was going back to India on oct 12? :)

Looks like I was. Well i never thought I would actively look out for guy friends the way i think i did. But admittedly, theres something about being able to go out with a guy (alone.. not with a girl) on hunting trip thats addictive and you begin missing it. Theres no outcome to the whole meaningless exercise except pure entertainment. Kind of like gambling in Las Vegas. The real idea there is to put some money and get a lot more, but what you generally end up doing is just spend a whole lot of time in a casino without anything real to do except just involve yourself in the meaningless activity of exhausting your cash at a burn rate such that it will make you maximize your time there. The idea here on a hunting trip is to practice your oratory skills with women of different varieties and accents (and quit during the moment of reckoning.. sort of like gambling in vegas.. do it for the sake of doing it.. but don't get involved)

So i called this guy out from work for the Wednesday "Drink for a cause" event. Hopefully he is a good Jayesh substitute and we become regular weekend "party like a rockstar" buddies

And so it begins again

2007-09-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

Just my blogging career begins again :)

I was thinking about Twenty20 for this while. When India played Pak in the first game, i was convinced about one thing. Its a new game and the teams with natural talent will do well over teams with well thought out strategies. South Africa and Australia in that sense were clearly not the favorites here in that regard. And between SA and Australia i thought SA is likely to do better than Aus (I was wrong.. SA did worse)

So is an India Pakistan final really something surprising? The Aussies have not had any time to think about this game. They haven not worked out what is the best way to bowl, field and what is the best batting order. There seems to be some inefficiency in every victory.. the teams are not utilizing their batsmen completely. All losses have been with wickets to spare (like tonights loss of Australia to India). Very soon Australia will discover the optimal way , master it and in the next version they will blow everyone away.

A good point noted by Ponting (although it comes across as a whine) is that "There is luck involved mostly". Its true that a player who can produce brilliance in a short span will do well over an above average highly consistent player. I think as the format of the game becomes smaller, brilliance wins over consistency. We already see that difference between test cricket and ODIs. The difference is even more apparent in Twenty20

So... if its the team with more natural talent who wins, should it not be Pak who will win the Twenty20 world cup? I dont know. I think the only thing that will keep Pak away from winning is the fear of failure against India. Otherwise if they play without any fear (like Dhoni and his team will be doing) then they should win.

Personally, I'd rather see us losing to Pak than losing to Australia. So i am already happy here. If India bat first and get 160 on board then i am going to stick my neck out and say we win. Anything below 140 we lose. Between 140 and 160 is going to be the "exciting zone"

So..

2007-05-31T14:01:00.000-07:00

.. i have officially given up on aloopyaaz for the time being. Everyone seems to be majorly pissed off at me as of now and i am just not a part of the Great San Franciscan Desi Social Structure. My network is.. as they famously say.. temporarily down. Not totally out I hope, but just down.

I feel like one of those Godfather movie characters that has just been ostracized from the Family because I was not a loyal Paisano. The lastest and the last straw in the coffin was apparently the fact that I went out for dinner on the night of friend's bday and reached home only 20 minutes before everyone else. A paisano has to be more involved in family .. sorry.. Family matters than that.

This is pretty much of a regular pattern with me since i started mingling with a typical desi group since my Ahmedabad days.

A mixed social group of desis is interesting. It has one or two queen bees (females) and a lot of drones (males). The drones hardly have any social activity with each other without the queen bees involved. Now there is one drone in the group of drones that is a rogue drone (me). He behaves more or less like the regular drone, but he is often open to having friends outside the group. Which is fine ... but this is what happens once in a while..

The rogue drone once in a while decides to go and make friends with a queen bee outside the group who is more or less isolated and an introvert. What happens next is interesting. The rogue drone decides to spend time with the other queen bee to an equal proportion and is not always avaliable for last minute plans for his old group. He often ends up taking "an extra step" to fulfill his social commitments in the two separate social groups that he has just formed and what the group sees is only the extra step taken for the "new friend".

The queen bee of the old group disapproves of this in a subtle manner and thinks of this as betrayal for the family.. er.. Family. This disapproval passes on to the drones subconciously, since the drones have a soft corner for the queen bee anyways and tend to agree with the queen bee for no fault of their own brains.

And then this whole ostracizing happens

The first time it happened to me was when I asked everyone about going to Mount Abu and only the new queen bee said "yes" and the old queen bee/queen bees said "well lets see". And when I went alone with her that came to be regarded as "you ditched us for her???? how could you Malad.. kitna bhagta hai ladki ke peeche?" and it manifested itself in the secret Goa trip in April which I was not informed about because I "always ditch"

The latest was the last minute withdrawal from my LA trip and going to Vegas (not with the new queen bee, but then these things are never logical). This is definitely seen in the same light as ditching the old group for the new queen bee.

But history says that all this gets sorted out quickly. So I am going to wait, watch and apologize to the Family

The FAmily structure will break down (as history proves) when the queen bee/queen bees find a mate either in the drones or outside. Like a real mate who is local and available. And then everything will be normal.

Remembered this oen for some reason..

2007-05-31T12:54:00.001-07:00

Dates back to the placecom days in IIM A when every member except one used to be in placecom meetings.

Sing to the tune of "Rabba rabba rabba..."

Saara placecom meeting mein... tu akela.. jhumka jhumka jhumka jhumka..."

I guess the kind of work I am doing these days reminds me of the cold calls days in wimwi. The ego massaging, the sucking up, the rejections and the joy of breaking a deal. That is something I used to enjoy and that is something i enjoy even now.

Aha.. i am already nostalgic. I'd love to work with that group any day. Easily the most fun and the most professional group I have ever worked with.

And while we are on the topic..

2007-05-15T19:09:00.001-07:00

.. heres Peter Griffins tips on attracting men.

Stewie learning how to treat women

2007-05-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

Now.. how many times have we seen this story :))

Aloopyaaz

2007-05-15T17:24:00.000-07:00

.. is like the global juice noticeboard. Its like living my extended IIM A years. Its sort of cool. Its writing a juice on the world rather than just the WIMWI campus.

Plus I've got a very enthusiastic set of people who are as excited and as childish about it as me. I am waiting for the real website to come up with images and everything to give it an even cooler look. And then there will be contributors to this global juice notice board.. it will be the people who read it.

Wow.. i am pretty kicked about it!

The importance of a wingman

2007-05-04T15:32:00.000-07:00

It all becomes extremely important because the chances of finding a single woman alone is very very rare. So you get women in pairs. The fat chick and the pretty chick. The fat chick is the designated protector. The pretty chick thinks highly of the fat chick and would not go against her when it comes to guys in a disc.

And so making a break with the pretty chick is a non trivial activity that involves making a rapport with the fat chick first.

A workable strategy is:

1. Wingman is with you when you start striking conversation with the fat chick. You are nice to the fat chick.

2. Wingman converses with the pretty chick.. and makes it clear within the first 20 sentences that he is married.

3. You eventually ask fat chick about what pretty chick does and start complimenting her on what she does for a living or something vague. Dress would be a cool thing, but thats a dangerous place to go. Profession or her course of study or her college is a good place to start

4. You are likely to get a nod of approval from the fat chick now. Thats because while you are talking to the fat chick she is smiling away and pretty chick notices it. And so now pretty chick cannot be told by fat chick that "oh this guy is bad.. not for you". So you are already classified as undangerous now. And now its time to make your move on the pretty chick.

Heres what probably happens..

2007-05-01T01:18:00.000-07:00

What happens is:
1. You meet girl
2. If you dont value her as a person then you move on, she remains an acquaintance.
3. If you value her as a person then you connect when you talk, you are nice to her just like you are with a friend. You end up listening to her and not just "bear her" and "entertain her". You might also want to date her if she passes as a friend.
4. Then you get into the friend zone and she "does not want to lose your friendship" because none of her past relations have been nice to her in that way and so by definition if this friendship turns into a relationship then it will be as bad. So "why spoil this wonderful friendship that will last forever?"

A better option is

1. You meet girl
2. Before you even know if she passes you as a friend, put the gameface on. Do a good research and indicate directly that you want to date. Start of with standard things like flower and chocolates, giving surprises. The normal things that you never see in a relationship that is more than a year long and which you would generally consider artificial.
3. If shes junk, run away
4. If she isn't junk continue dating till she runs away or does not

Not putting your gameface will either get you a one night stand or a "friend". If you want a serious relationship , put the gameface on.

Trouble is that you now all this and yet prefer the first option. Maybe its for the best.

Brilliant Gazhal

2007-04-30T15:43:00.000-07:00

Although i like the recorded version.

The live version has a good couplet

"Kuch is kadar se mujhse bewafai kar
Ke tere baad koi aur bewafa na lage"

Brilliant line

2007-04-30T15:34:00.000-07:00

Kuch is kadar tu mere sath bewafai kar
Ke tere baad koi aur mujhko bewafa na lage

well..

2007-04-28T15:13:00.001-07:00

Theres hope and then theres reality. Yet another cricket tournament where Australians won. Big deal

I hope SL win

2007-04-27T17:20:00.000-07:00

Right from the first round when they beat india they knew as much as probably everyone else that Australia is the only team that can stop them. The fact that they did not play Murali, Malinga and Vaas against SL in the first round confirmed to me that they had a feeling Aus is the only team that can do any damage

And to be fair at this point i will say that if Australia bat first, survive the first 20 overs and score around 250+ then the wicket is going to be wicked in the second half and the slow bowlers (even of Australia's caliber) will do the damage. On the other hand if Sri Lanka manage to bat first, score around 100 in 20 overs for 3 wickets, keep their heads down and score around 230 to 240 in the first innings then i would give them a much higher chance. The Aussies cant survive Murali and Jayasurya on this crumbler of a wicket in Barbados.

So lets hope they do it.. otherwise its yet another boring tournament that Australia won.

Luck

2007-04-24T17:03:00.000-07:00

.. is probably as important as other fairly unchangeable constraints that you have in life. There are a lot of them around you.

One of them is the start that you get in life. The economic constraints of your parents. Another one that I can think of is your height, or your basic IQ (not how well you sharpen yourself over the years, but what you are born with)

What you probably have to do is to work around it. So if you know that when you put your keys in the wallet there is a history of the key falling down as you remove the wallet, then you work around it. Some people may not face that problem and so they can keep the keys in their wallet and "get away with it". If you know you are likely to lose it you have two choices. You can do something about it or you can choose to wish you had better luck and not do anything about it.

You are more likely to succeed if you accept reality , recognize it, and then work with it, rather than deny it. If you know that you are more likely to win money in Las Vegas when you dont think, it is better to accept reality and not think. If you know that you are very likely to fail in pure luck things, it is better to stay away from activities involving pure luck.

All this is quite obvious. But sometimes I seem to get in a mode of looking at someone else and then wishing "I was as lucky". Writing this reminds me its all about capitalizing the areas where I am lucky and not speculating on what could have been in areas where i am NOT lucky.

Why do I care about Abhishek- Ash's marriage?

2007-04-23T15:43:00.000-07:00

Especially when Ash is not getting married to me? (Not that i won't have commitment issues even if we got close to that one)

Is all the publicity because it was generated by the family? Is it plain media hype? Why does a Pakistani taxi driver taking me to Rickshaw stop on a Friday night know that Shah Rukh Khan wasn't invited to the marriage? And worse, why does he ask me for a reason?

And what happens when they get divorced? Does it get publicized too? Do we get pictures of the courts where they got divorced?

Now if this was America, the only pictures and videos/tapes we would get on the internet is their honeymoon on a boat or in a hotel room. That would sell more than the marriage ceremony pictures. Thankfully we are spared of that

One good explanation is recovery of the cost of marriage. The revenue obtained from selling the marriage tapes would probably subsidize the marriage or make it close to a profit. If Hum Aap Ke Hain Koun was such a super success, this marriage would probably do better.

Now the good part about the marriage is that its taking the attention and the anger away from cricket. The world cup is very likely to be reduced to "yet another event that Australia won.... *yawn* .. who cares". Which is good news for Rahul Dravid and Co, because they will be all set to earn some more advertisement revenue once the anger has subsided. And if they actually win against Bangladesh, then there will be a major wave of advertisement revenue coming in before we go play in Australia with tall claims like "Australia.. are you ready for us?" before the eventual cycle of disappointment kicks in again and "reality" kicks in to the indian junta.

Lara,,,

2007-04-21T09:50:00.000-07:00

No that he has ever succeeded in a world cup before, or even come close to being the one man show that someone like Sachin had done last time, but I wanted him to succeed. The stage was set. It was England. And he was run out. Thats pure bad luck i think. I believe he could have had his last hurrah today...by scoring a century. That was not to be. The exits of Inzy and Lara in the sad manner is probably the most disappointing thing that could happen in this world cup.

Lara's decision to not play test cricket (and score centuries in losing causes) can be understood. One can get tired of ending up in the losing side all the time. But I think he still had it in him to go on a winning note even in tests. Maybe he should have given himself two more years and play on till 37 or something before retiring (like inzy)

Man united back to the glory days

2007-04-14T12:20:00.000-07:00

Its pretty amazing. All they need is to throw away superstars from their team. And they come back to where they belong.

Rooney is not much of a superstar individualist as much he is a team player right now. So dont qualify him as a superstar. Just goes on to show what a group of disciplined people who do the small things correctly over and over again can end up doing. This team again reminds me of the Australian cricket team.

Again, probably the definition of a superstar is someone who makes sure that others perform well in the team , even if it means not being able to utilize his strength fully. So maybe Beckham and Nistlerooy were not superstars after all

गज़ब का आइटम

2007-04-13T05:04:00.000-07:00

में टाईप कर रह हू अंग्रेजी में और गूगल इसे ट्रांस्लाते कर रह है हिंदी में। गूगल b ही आज कल सही आइटम लेकर आता है यार।

Maybe its time to give it a positive twist

2007-04-11T19:20:00.000-07:00

Its time to do the basics right. Something that has worked for me over the years is doing the small things correctly, over and over again. The first among these small things is plain old listening and trusting. Doing something that is popular first, and discovering if its right or wrong, before changing course. When I saw popular, i mean what is widely regarded as the right solution.

Secondly, its a bad idea to stay in the future. Its almost as bad as staying in the past (not quite as bad, but almost). So, stay in the present and concentrate the most on the present. In an almost agile way , there is no schedule, there is always the topmost priority to do right now and concentrate on doing that right now.

I dont know the consequences of tomorrows meeting. It can be something totally outrageous like "Right now you need to hone your skills to handle clients" or something on the lines of "oooh.. u seem to be a risk.." . I can immediately react and say "I have done that for last four years so i dont think thats the problem". Or I can get some more details about why that seems to be a problem , just live in the present (Recognizing that right now I am in a job that requires me to correct certain things) and go about in a clinical fashion in correcting it. Not worry about "This is the wrong thing to concentrate on, i will never need to do this in life when i want to do what i want to do in long term"

The fact is i am in the present and being simplistic and concentrating on present might make sense.

Reason #2

2007-04-11T14:35:00.000-07:00

You start focusing your energy on the wrong things. It happens. Instead of concentrating on skills needed to grow long term, you end up taking advise from someone who will never ever come close to doing what you want to do over a long term. Result: There is a tendency to get sidelined from your focus.

You might end up polishing up your skills to deal with lower/middle management and creating a perception of adding value, rather than actually adding value. Your success can depend on what someone thinks is good or bad.

So yeah.. thats another reason of getting out of the rut as soon as possible before you end up getting too deep into honing skills that will never matter for your long term goal.

Reason #1

2007-04-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

There will always be someone senior doing exactly what you are doing in another team. And you will be asked to follow "practices" because they are "best practices". That may include lot of irrational practices but then non compliance will be linked to something so arbitrary that its not even worth a thought to correlate non compliance to this arbitrary failure

Such is the nature of a job and this is yet another reason to get out of it. As I collect more reasons I will put them up here.

News headlines for the week

2007-04-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

1. Started of with a good beginning of the week at work. Things went well in the review. What sucks is that the part of my work that i consider my fakest ever deliverable is still the most important one for reporting.

2. Alcohol consumption comes down significantly. Not bad at all. Big win there.

3. Bangladesh stuns SA. Good for cricket. In four years from now there would be four major teams in the sub continent.

4. Gradual loss of interest over two weeks, followed by artificial measures in an effort to boost interest, followed by natural loss of interest over a period of two hours followed by contemplation of artificial measure to give a boost to interest yet again. Ah.. this one is worth a blog entry by itself

5. Almost getting back into the argumentative loop that I hate getting into. Pat on the back to me for keeping away. Alert for argumentative loop starting again with someone else (this time a guy.. oh God.. whats wrong with me)

6. Good work on the door maintenance request. However its sunday afternoon and I am yet to take care of laundry , and expense reports. No clue about my account receivables. Loss of keys is also not too good. BUT.. a pat on the back for getting the maint request through and before i forget.. excellent work on getting the rent check through from remote location.

7. Good work on getting a normal sunday start inspite of having to drive 70 miles early morning. The 70 miles driving of course was a result of my own screw up, but.. good recovery nevertheless.

Okay.. 7 is a good number.

Dravid's moment of reckoning

2007-04-05T13:12:00.000-07:00

Or so the headline says. Does he really care if he keeps his captaincy or not? Did he actually want it so badly in the first place for selfish reasons? He is probably feeling worse than what i am feeling right now about the WC loss and in that state of mind, i dont really care about anything apart from winning back my glory.

Do what the f*&^ you want, BCCI.. do i care. We lost and thats what matters. Nothing can change it. I want to get back on the field and win again. Thats what matters. Advertisements, captaincy et al dont really matter. Getting my glory back, matters.

Commonplace thinking would make someone think money matters more than glory of winning. Want for money did not get Dravid where he is right now. At the level where he is, money really does not matter. Thinking that he would want captaincy or play on for money is like saying a self made wealth producer would sell his company for money. Or its like saying a king will sell his kingdom for money. No. Money is NOT the driver here. Glory is. Winning is. Doing something worldclass to be remembered , is the driver.

Low level thinkers, just shut the f*&* up and dont relate everything to money.

Sachin..

2007-04-04T07:23:00.000-07:00

I think he wants to play cricket. Hes played cricket all his life (literally.. ever since he was12). No one had an issue when Inzamam "failed" four years back at the age of 33 and no one asked him to quit. Sachin has been asked to do just that. By former coaches, by fans , who dont know head or tail of cricket (but end up watching all games involving India, and still claim Lara is wayyy better even after seeing another one of his average WC performance)

I think he should just continue playing cricket. Whether its for Mumbai or if its for a county. Playing cricket for county would be a better option because it will be away from the limelight (if at all something like that is possible for him). Maybe playing domestic cricket in Australia is not a bad option (if he wants to play at the highest level ).

Overall, the India team and the India fan following does not deserve him. He should stop caring. And just do what he wants.. that is playing cricket.

Heres a thought by someone...

2007-03-26T05:36:00.000-07:00

The reason for India's exit in the world cup is Indira Gandhi. What was she thinking anyways in 1971? 35 years later , the decision has bitten us on the backside.

Goes on to prove that war never helps.

Effects of getting drunk #42

2007-03-18T19:57:00.000-07:00

One of the things that happens to you when you are drunk is that your mind becomes slow. Now everyone knows this. But the implications of this can be very interesting and can manifest itself in a number of interesting ways

One way it manifests itself is when someone says something to you that you dont feel good about, you are stuck on to it. If your normal reaction is becoming quiet for 10 seconds and then moving on, the slow mind can extend that 10 seconds to 10 minutes.. sometimes to 30 minutes. You are oblivious of the world around you. You talk to yourself (not in the schizophrenic sense) for much too long and in the process end up talking to no one else during that time. Even if your normal behavior would prevent you from throwing a tantrum you end up doing exactly that (to me , reacting out of normal for a significantly longer time than usual is a mild way of throwing a tantrum)

Sometimes the implications of throwing the tantrum aren't bad. Sometimes you are lucky and the reaction you give just leads you to doing something totally harmless. But at other times it can lead to something you wouldn't really want to do in the interest of safety if not in the interest of something "indian" you are stuck on to for no reason.

Good to watch: Just Friends

2007-03-11T04:29:00.000-07:00

It explains the concept of being in the "friends zone" with a woman versus being in the boyfriend zone pretty well. The movie otherwise is crappy. It has a confused offering between a chick flick and a guys only movie. Things become worse when there is a theme of revenge of the nerds combined with it.

So anyways back to the point, the movie brings an important point of some women never thinking of "just friends" as anything more than that. There is a concept with the girl of the "good friend" thing lasting forever. Or perhaps even if it does not last forever it will be a something "safe" that lasts till you get the real boyfriend. A good friend is an "also ran" forever. Hes the perpetual emotional support backup. There is a sense of taking him for granted that exists between friends. And nothing can be more frustrating for you as a guy to just experience this day in and out.

So.. beware of putting yourself in the "friend zone" if you want to get in the boyfriend zone. Or at least start removing yourself from the friend zone as soon as you know you want to get into the boyfriend zone.

There you go. I said it here first. Thank you.

What do i really want

2007-03-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

I think a small conversation with my mom threw some insight. She doesn't know it gave me insight. But i think i am kind of clear on what i want.

She was talking about my ex and making it clear without mincing words that she was glad it was over. She had seen me first hand over here when she stayed with us. And she was pretty clear that if theres a marriage there then its not going to be the most ideal one. In her own words "you are going to be frustrated to the point of madness"

I had to tell her why i am finding no one else. Firstly , I told her, theres got to be someone who loves me. It seems pretty trivial, but then theres someone who has to be interested in me and interested in my life in general.

So what am i waiting for.. i already had someone who was "interested in me and my life in general"? If shes interested in me, what is it that was stopping me from tying the knot? And the answer is, I want to want her. She deserves no less. Thats the ideal scenario. If that doesn't work out then a one way relationship between us makes no sense at all. In my Moms words "its wrong to marry someone who you dont love. Its not fair to her"

The trouble with Greg C

2007-03-03T14:57:00.000-08:00

.. or any other coach from Australia is that they dont have the belief that any other team is good enough to win against Australia.

Somewhere down the line that feeling is bound to percolate to the team. And once the team stops believing its the best, i dont give it a chance to win.

Its the same thing with Sri Lanka.

Imran's team won in 1992 because they totally believed they were the best. Sure they got defeated by South Africa India Sri Lanka.. everyone in first round.. they were lucky to get those seven points and make it to the semis..

I remember the last match of the league against NZ where Martin Crowe rested because his team had already reached the semis. The style of them winning against Kiwis in the last match and then beating them again in the first semi finals was more dramatic than the repeat act by Australia in the 1999 version against South Africa.

Somewhere in all that was the belief that they are the best and can beat anyone. I dont believe this Indian team has that belief. They want to reach the Semis and "take it from there" . Thats the target. Reaching the semis. We may or we may not reach there. If we reach the semis then our goal will be fulfilled.

In the fifth your ass goes down

2007-02-25T10:46:00.000-08:00

And i have found myself repeating it ... several times. Thank you Marsellus Wallace, for this beautiful statement you made.

Pride is your number one enemy. Fear is the ally for pride. They operate together. You are proud because you are always successful. And that gives you a fear of failure.

Pride and fear together makes you underachieve. You stay in your zone. You don't go after something that you might not get. Because you fear that you may not get it. And thus you eliminate all chances of ever getting it.

You forget that success is probability. It has to come in only after a series of failures. If you dont set yourself a target that you cannot achieve, then by definition you are not pushing yourself to the limit.

Overcome fear, by killing pride but keeping confidence alive. Make a habit to face your fear and overcome it. Is there anything that you DONT want the world to know about because it concerns a failure that you had? Are you too proud to admit a failure? Say it , and face it. Remember its going to happen again, but you aren't going to be deterred by it. After it happens a lot of times you will be successful. And if theres anyone foolish to laugh at you because you could not achieve it the last few times around, you know what they think of themselves now.

Rant Alert: Very boring post, dont read

2007-02-24T19:17:00.000-08:00

I miss the process of falling in love. The process of liking someone who likes me right back. Something that is natural and doesnt have to be forced from any side. Someone worth it.

Maybe its a matter of chance and maybe like all things that i want ideal, i am looking for a very idealistic thing here too. Like i told someone earlier "You cant get everything that you want as an adult human being. You've got to live with something that you will not get"

Ah well.. time to concentrate on work now. Thats another challenge.

Disapprovals and attention seeking tactics

2007-02-18T11:57:00.000-08:00

Out of all the imaginative attention grabbing tactics that i have seen in women, the one that i hate the most (definitely hate the most) is what i saw yesterday.

There are five of us. Four guys and her. Shes definitely the reason why we are going to be able to enojoy ourselves there. Thats because shes our designated driver. God bless her. I like her for that. BUT...

.. if she wants to get out at 10 and none of us do, then i find it funny for her to show her disapproval by talking on the phone outside. Why would anyone do that? Yes, i agree hes your boyfriend. But surely you can speak to him later. I am sure he understands it. I think its definitely insulting to the host when he sees someone just outside the house talking on the phone endlessly. Its sort of indicating that "I am so bored, i cant wait to leave if only the others who are with me join me". All kinds of disapproval should be entirely kept within the group.

Its impossible for all four of us to give you attention all the time. Its a party. There are other people. There are women. Its natural for us to talk to them. Thats the reason we attend the party. To talk to other interesting people.

Its okay to show disapproval and seek attention as long as its not offending to an entirely unrelated person. But this.. i definitely dont like.

Pride comes before a fall

2007-02-18T11:50:00.000-08:00

Australia with their backs against the wall is an interesting thing in cricket. Two weeks back Lou Vincent said about them "They think they are bigger than the game" and they sort of replied "sure we are"

Two weeks hence they are already the number 2 team in the world. Its sort of fair that they dont do better than the Windies team of mid 70s and 80s. Even they could not win three in a row. This team is very hard working, and professional, but I dont want to compare McGrath and co to Holding, Garner, Marshal etc. And Ponting is good.. but he is no Richards.

Pride does come in before a fall. Theres a very thin line between confidence and pride. I still feel they can do it, if they get back to their feet and come down on the pride factor. The first step for them would be to start admiting that other teams are as good or perhaps even better on paper. And then theres SA and WI, both on some sort of a comeback. Very nice build up to the WC.

Time to start thiking bigger..

2007-02-17T10:46:00.000-08:00

I just had a conversation with a friend from IIT M. He works in a four person private equity firm and he deals with entrepreneurs day in and day out. Their way of thinking is refreshingly different from the small time thinking of MBA grads from ivy league schools. These conversations with my IIT friends invariably leave me refreshed and thinking bigger than what i normally manage under circumstances that I am in. I stop thinking about salary increments, about earning 20K to 40K more than I do right now , and i start thinking something bigger.

I think IIM makes you risk averse. It makes you value instant gratification more and makes you a shorter term thinker. Your entrepreneurial side gets severely damaged (if not killed). Since you put yourself in a position to get the best job possible, you end up thinking that the best job is the best thing that can happen to you.

You begin comparing yourself to your peers in the wrong way. An investment banking industry becomes a "better" industry because you can earn upto a million dollars in bonuses. So you end up taking pride in chasing a best "job" and forget the fact that you are chasing a job, and you are probably thinking small. There is a danger of you going after a smaller reach than what you are probably capable. Whatever happened to your idea of "making a difference to people around you" idea?

MBA might be a good thing to do.. if you dont let it make you risk averse. There is a tendency for MBAs to make you a fighter, a survivor...like a Gladiator. You fight for survival in an arena of great fighters and you know how to survive. The danger there is that you may never think like a King who is arranging these fights.

Think about that if you are about to do an MBA. Especially if you do MBAs from ivy league type schools which put you in the position to get the best jobs.

EArly prediction

2007-02-11T18:22:00.000-08:00

At an early stage if I have to predict someone apart from Australia, its got to be the West Indies. Even if the home team has never won at home (Remember.. Sri Lanka won in Pakistan, even if they were hosts, which they hardly were). For some funny reason, the home team never plays in a final in front of their own crowd.

My strong contenders away from Australia are :
West Indies
South Africa
The Barmy Army

SA and WI seem to be particularly good to me this time.. especially WI.

Brilliant win by England ..

2007-02-09T15:23:00.000-08:00

... and i guess that seals it for me as far as level of excitement , ups and downs, go in sports. Superbowl can only dream of such games. The level of excitement in football and cricket is just not there in American Football.

Thats it for me as far as my interest in NFL goes. Give me a Mumbai Vs Bengal Ranji final any day over a Chicago Vs Indianapolis final.

Mumbai should call themselves world champion (just like Indianapolis) :). Commentators should stop Amol Mazumdar and ask him "how does it feel to be the world champion". Of course that schoolboys under 15 team in Melbourne will be now biting their fingernails at this new competition they have from this amazing Mumbai Ranji team

I lost my motivation...

2007-02-08T18:33:00.000-08:00

....to go back to SF. The travel got to me. I succumbed to it. US Airways finally got me bored enough to not take that five hour flight.

I guess the fact that theres no one in the house also helped. When i left last week is was pretty determined to come back. When i reached here things just changed. I am living a suburban life. Alone. And i will be going to New York

What contributed apart from the travel? Was it no one wanting to speak to me when i called (no one loves me factor)? WAs it my old friend reaching New Jersey this weekend? Was it the everyday drinking session with coworker which is most likely going to continue tomorrow night as well?

Perhaps the last one is the real factor (but i dont want to admit it) and the first one is the justification to self that "theres nothing to do in SF anyways". Maybe its plainly the jetlag

Whatever it is.. i am here for good on this weekend. I saved my client a lot of money. I am proud of myself. Now i will spend some more on food.

This is pretty bad

2007-02-05T17:22:00.000-08:00

I get one opportunity to do something good and i can see myself screwing it up. Its just a matter of recognizing the big meetings and making sure thigns go well. REally.. its that simple. I have no clue as to why things go wrong even with thigns as simple as this. Why do i suck at making people do what i want them to do without the stick?

The top three priorities for me are : "Make your team shine". After an hour of discussion thats the thing to do. The time i have.. one month.

Best of luck to me.

Random Babe Experience

2007-02-04T13:04:00.000-08:00

I had one of the weirdest random babe experience at the desi party yesterday. It left me with a mixture of feelings the biggest amongst them was curiosity.

I see this random babe alone having a corona. I think shes with a friend and start talking. Then i ask her for a dance and she agrees. I tell her "Isnt J coming too?" She goes "who?" I go "Arent you with J" and she goes "no"

Well so far so good. Matka lag gaya. But...kahani mein twist comes in pretty soon.

She takes me to a kopcha and does what i fear the most. She starts crying. CRYING. For Gods sake.. WHAT is that about? WHY will she cry? anyways she asks me to get her some paper napkins which I do, she asks me to wait for her till she comes back from the bathroom , which i do, and then she asks me to sit with her, which i do. And after all this, i ask her name (of course i am now curious to know who she is). And she looks TREMENDOUSLY hurt and RUNS away. I never see her again. Never ever.

This is by far one of the weirdest random babe experience I ever had. It far crosses the previous random babe experience in Chicago when random babe ran of from the old man, fell all over me while dancing and then went back to daddy after a couple of songs.

We Day

2007-01-31T17:06:00.000-08:00

Why is there such a hype around 14th Feb? Thats my favorite question at this time of the year. And yet I remember the last 3/4 years around this time of the year.

The best thing thats happening this time is the bitter singles party organized by Energy FM in the bay area. Sounds like fun. Sounds like a bit of a spoof on a day thats literally painted red by all lovers (of the opposite sex)

Last year around this time I was attending a wedding in Long Beach. A year before that I was in "Naan and curry". A year before that I was at home in SF. A year before that I was in New Brunswick (which is about 100 miles from where I will be this year). A year before that I didn't pay attention to the hype and so I didn't wonder what the hype was about and so I don't remember.

I think I wasn't going to pay attention this time around, but then a couple of friends reminded me. It'll be interesting to see who I get cards from this year. I wonder what those cards mean. It probably means "I remember you are single and I am not and thats so sad. Since i will never date you anyways, take a card. Heres wishing you a happy...". Yeah thats what it probably means. The last two years I wasn't perceived single by anyone and so I didn't get any cards. A year before that i was perceived single and so i got a few of them. Lets see what happens this year

A R Rahman- Guru

2007-01-28T02:21:00.000-08:00

So you would think how innovative can he get ? Listen to Mayya in Guru. ITs a fusion of .. get this.. Gujarati and middle eastern. And it still sounds amazing. He seems to have developed a liking for experimenting with Middle eastern music fused with something else. In Khalbali it was more of mixing with punjabi and now its Gujju.

Rahman..you rock. Keep going. You remind me of Sachin Tendulkar. Just when one thinks "theres nothing more to show" you come up with something else. And just like him, everyone is going to get used to your genius. And then when you dont innovate more you are probably going to be compared to other modern time greats, instead of recognizing that you are a notch above the second best.

Finding patterns and being stereotypical

2007-01-26T15:06:00.000-08:00

I had a conversation with a friend last night. He told me about how I should avoid finding patters and hence not miss out on a possibility due to stereotyping. I tried to explain there is a thin line between stereotyping/looking for a pattern and taking best decision through experience.

His point was : "In a Roulette machine you observe for five blacks in a row and then bet on the red. You are looking at patterns whereas scientifically the rolls are independent and hence the probability of any number is 1/36". My point was "I observe it over a sufficiently long number of time and bet on A BLACK coming 20 times out of 40 times and so probably what i do is also logical, but I am not sure. I need to investigate"

Anyways it quickly went into a mode where I asked him the meaning of "learning from experience" and he insisted that its not learning from experience .. its finding patterns, which is not a good thing (for whatever reasons).

And this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roulette indicates pretty well that there are higher probabilities of winning in a particular way of betting than others. They all observe a "pattern". But none of them is gauranteed for a win (obviously). I would specifically ask my friend to read the "Betting only on red" section.

So my question to him now is:

1. You have kicked a pole and got hurt only once or twice in your life in 30 years. Why are you "observing patterns" and avoiding kicking poles just because three of your last three experiences were bad? Are you missing out on the possibility of finding a pot of gold because of your stereotyping?

2. You havent personally observed anyone falling off the top of Empire state building and getting killed. Do you think someone will get killed when he jumps off? Are you trying to observe a pattern here?

3. And finally. Imagine this. You are lost on a free way. You ask for directions from a friend who is not able to do so once. And this happens again. And again. And the sixth time when it happens you have a choice between this friend or another one. What do you do?

My guess is you start finding patterns and go for the other option. I think we started this as early as when we were 5 years old when we first jumped of the dining table and got hurt. We started "observing patterns".

Probably stereotyping comes in when you dont assess a risk reasonably due to your inherent biases and sometimes end up taking a wrong decision. This , might be complete different from being unbiased , observing all events related to a decision, assessing the risks accurately and then taking an informed decision. But yeah.. its a thin line. All decisions taken this way can be argued to be based on "observing patterns and probably missing out on something better" if these decisions are subjective.

On Power

2007-01-23T19:09:00.000-08:00

I was having this very interesting conversation with a friend about her idea on "Power". She said she didn't like the job. From the normal course of the argument our conversation wandered into a very interesting topic. Power. Not the electrical one. But the organizational/political one.

Probably the best way to define Power would be "The ability to get things done your way" . Perhaps influence is power. As I was talking to her about what things she could do in order to get things done her way, I realized that the first step towards influencing others is to serve them.

It probably seems very counterintuitive at first. But think about it. In a group the person who "serves" the most is probably the person on whom the group is the most dependent on. When you look at the mother and the child, there is a bond of love, and yet the more influential one , the one who takes the important decisions, is the one who serves the other and helps the other survive.

The natural leader in a group of equals is the "go to" guy. The "go to" guy is the guy who solves your problem , who bails you out of trouble over and over again. To such an extent that you naturally expect him to bail you out in a similar situation. And you "allow" him to think about what the group is doing next and you naturally end up "allowing" him to take decisions for the group. You dont mind him telling you to do certain things because they probably make sense.

In an organization it probably does not matter who you are reporting to or who is reporting to you. If you are going to get things done your way (in a non political/clean manner) then you have to emerge as the person for who everyone has a natural respect. The best way to do it is to probably take an initiative in solving problems of your surrounding and gaining a natural right to accountability from your peers, your bosses and your subordinates.

The thrill of getting things done your way is the first "high" that you gives you the feeling of power. An equally good high is of course the thrill of doing it right, but if things are subjective your mind is probably going to convince you that it was done in the most right way possible :)

There. I said it. Someday all of you will pay me for reading this bullshit

Its snowing in Philly!

2007-01-23T01:29:00.000-08:00

And I am discovering for the first time that driving in the snow is not exactly fun. The traffic moves at 10 miles per hour and the windshield wipers do not work effectively. Something goes wrong with the windshield cleaning fluid which helps in clearing ups the misty cover from the snow on the windshield.

Whats worse, the car rental guy cons you into getting a car with .. NO CENTRAL LOCKING. Yes. No central locking. The cars that were available in the last century are still existing. He says something like "This is the safest car for driving on snow". Sure.

Rise and dont shine

2007-01-23T01:18:00.000-08:00

I wake up at 4:00 in the morning and cannot sleep. I sleep at 9:00 in the night. Am i turning into a farmer?

I'd have preferred to wake up at 5:00. That way i would be more confident about not feeling sleepy during the day. But then waking up at 5:00 would remind me of my friends from Chennai who wake up at 5:00 , put on the Teeka, go to the local temple , pray and then have a hot madras coffee, read newspaper in my lungi and banian, listen to AM radio for news about Jayalalitha, and then leave for office at 7:00

That isnt too much better than the feeling of a local dehati Amreekan farmer (who i guess pretty much does the same thing as the man from chennai who wakes up at 5:00 , in his own way)

Whats worse, I sent an email invitation to a local Agile/XP conference to a few ex colleagues at Schwab. I wonder what they must be thinking about the mail coming in at 4:00 in the morning. Maybe they think i am in Singapore or something and not Philadelphia.

Wow..

2007-01-18T14:10:00.000-08:00

There is a bag designed for maniacs like me who sometimes carry two laptops. This is so awesome!

some things are just universal

2007-01-16T23:08:00.000-08:00

I saw the movie Brokeback Mountain and it wasnt as bad as someone had told me. I dont know if it was a run of a mill romantic movie with a gay theme or if it was indeed worthy of Academy awards. I think the performances by the characters were great. The wifes reaction on seeing the husband for the first time with another man was something that i remember the most. The mixtures of emotions on her face... the horror, shock, jealousy, bitterness is all visible in her expressions

The interesting part of the movie was the denial that happens when the two guys make out for the first time and then talk about it in the morning. "I am not a queer.. this was something that happened just once.. lets just forget it" Reminded me of some straight relationships back in desh in my late teens/early 20s. When the guy and the girl are "just friends" and then something out of ordinary happens. And then theres the denial. The guilt of making out inspite of not being in a formal "relationship" :) And then there is "This was something so weird... totally out of ordinary" And then it happens again. And again.

So the point is there are certain universal things about romance and relationships that remain the same, whether its gay or straight. Explained a lot of things cos I used to wonder how Elton John comes up with those super romantic expressive songs. I used to wonder how he gets those feelings that a guy has for a girl, but then some things are just universal.

Scrum Master..

2007-01-09T15:26:00.000-08:00

.. I swear i had heard him say "Brijesh, there is an opening and you will be working as a scrub master". I dint know what i would be scrubbing but my first reaction to it was "At least i will be the master scrubber and so i probably wont have to scrub too much, just direct"

Well thats fine. I'll be seeing Philadelphia. That would be nice. Professionally it probably means i am slowly moving away from "Know Your Customer" type of work, losing touch of why things are done and just concentrating on getting them done in a very agile way. But then sometimes it's good to get down to the basics and actually run fast without worrying too much about why you are running and where it will take you. Its a needed experience.

San Diego Zoo

2007-01-08T20:36:00.000-08:00

Turned out it wasn't such a bad idea after all. There was the occasional frustrating feeling about seeing animals locked up, but then there were a lot of animals who were saved because they were in that protected habitat. There was the occasional question that came to my mind about "would i rather stay caged or would i rather stay dangerously" and of course for me it was "i'd rather stay dangerously"

But it wasnt a matter of choice for the animals..it was the matter of preserving the human race and saving the earth. So well.. the endangered ones didnt have a choice but to be caged there.

Anyways there was a lot of interesting things that i came to know at the place. I think my best memory was that of a 3 year old girl photographing her mom and dad. Her hands were steady and she took the perfect picture. It was pretty amazing to see. At 29 I still cannot hold my hands as steady as her

The funniest memory was the cafe where there was nothing except meat of animals available. You would think at a place which condemned humans for consuming animals and making them extinct , you would give humans an option for NOT eating animals. That was not to be. Sent me into thoughts of what might be happening in Philippines where they domesticate the dog and eat dog meat at the same time. (I don't know why that thought came to my mind, but it did)

So this was essentially an all guys trip (almost.. except Sid's wife we were all guys). I did an all guys trip after a long time. I think it was good fun. I should do it more often!

Apple macbook users.. back off!

2007-01-03T21:14:00.000-08:00

The machine is expensive. Yes. It is expensive. You heard me right. It is... well.. expensive!

I'd rather spend 500 dollars a month on leasing a new BMW 328xi But i will not.. repeat.. NOT buy an apple macbook , even if a good one is for 1700 dollars.

I agree its a fantastic machine. I agree its going to make me feel good on using it. I know it is idiot proof. Yes.. i can browse all the porn sites on it without the fear of getting affected by spyware. Heck someone told me that i can make better presentations on it? (WHAT? Thats like saying you will become a better driver if you buy a Beemer)

But guess what.. i dont do ANY of it on my computer. And , being a confirmed non idiot, i dont want idiot proof. For Gods sake i use this damn machine for checking email , chatting on yahoo and well.. blogging (sometimes). And i use this machine to watch cricket.

Its too stressful for me to adjust to the new ctrl button. Or just something that doesnt look like either a gnome or Windows front end. Give me what i am used to. Not something that i will have to get used to.

Thank you very much. No apple for me. I hate to call myself a PC genius and not an apple man.. but thats what i am. Accept me for what I am and stop judging me.

PS: I dont hate apple products. I love my iPod

Top memorable moments of this week

2006-12-29T14:54:00.000-08:00

1. Project manager trying to get me to use the company communities page. We are discussing about the importance of "really understanding what the client wants before jumping to solution" when he jumps enthusiastically and says "hey.. why dont u just write this down on the communities page!" He goes to my laptop, sees an open browser window and his facial expression changes "What... you use internet explorer?" That was more like "you know.. maybe we dont value your comments too much.. forget it"

2. Work thought of the week: Maybe iteration managers are really just an over head. I have never felt a bigger overhead before this week. Looking over the shoulder of hard working developer/QA/Business analyst is just NOT funny.

3. Cabbie of the week: Definitely Farooq from Pakistan. Never seen any other cabbie with a better political analysis of whats happening in the world.

4. High point of the week: the 3 mile jog. Defnitely. Felt very nice

5. Lowpoint of the week: End of the project. (Thats bizzare. Because the lowpoint is related to work!! Thats so uncool)

6. TV show of the week: Borat with Jay Leno

7. Song of the week: Sarkiye yeh pahar by Strings.